Tuesday, March 28, 2006
I was thinking.
How unhappy i had become?
How self-concious i had become?
There was once a girl
Always smiling bright and laughing hard
Her laughter would ring in everyone's ear
Making sure that her happiness is knowned.
Not more than half a year later
She saw her reflection in the mirror
The girl wondered and pondered
What had become of her that the reflection she saw was not "her"
Flashbacks rapidly flicking in her sight
She was taken on a journey through the past few months
Hot tears started to roll down her cheek gently
Not long, the toilet was flooded with sobs
I saw that girl huddling herself and crying herself out in a corner
My heart twisted and wrenched in pain; the sympathy i felt for her
The girl after crying picked upself up
Braving on a smile and anxiously trying to assure that everything was alright
Deep inside, where her brains think and her senses feel, she knew it was not.
Just several days ago, the girl spoke to me
She said all of that which had happened was part of the cycle of Life
Not daring to oppose her words, an tranquil silence filled the air
Garnering all her confidence, the girl sauntered away
My tears fell as i stared at her fading backview
Searching my heart. It was the unevitable truth which was hard to deny and not give any regards to.
She is me.
I was her.
8:16 PM
I am waiting for my CD-Rs to arrive.
I cannot wait to burn all my videos, i got freaking 9gb of videos pending to be DOWNLOADED. And err, yes, my computer is left with only 115mb.
Speaking!
Today was horrible! By the way, remember that i named my FREAKING BASTARD ASS OF A HELL chinese teacher my MOST HATED. [:
Her chinese drawl slang when she speaks gets on my nerves BADLY.
The UNIQUE way her eyes roll when she speaks drives me INSANE badly.
That woman's ATTITUDE tackled me hard as it made me realise not all teachers are SAINT.
In short and sweet, i hate her.
7:58 PM
Monday, March 27, 2006
Will you ever realise, nothing is ever going to change?
-i doubt you will.
8:44 PM
Sunday, March 26, 2006
-deleted-
:]
1:22 PM
Saturday, March 25, 2006
sighs.
i felt as if i had intruded on something.
1:48 PM
Thursday, March 23, 2006
-removed due to layout constraint-
Shinhwa's 8th anniversary picture
8:29 PM
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
I am falling harder and harder.
Just by falling in love with you, my heartbeat is increasing.
Not minwoo, not junsu by you.
9:09 PM
i listened to First Love- Shinhwa.
I was reminded of my past. From the very first day i started liking shinhwa. The amount of people i had befriended because of them. How close we bonded because of them. How at first i could not differentiate minwoo/dongwan. How i love minwoo oppa till now.
All the answers to the above questions flashes in my mind.
Minwoo's look back then. Shinhwa's look back then.
Back then, the first korean song i learned was Perfect Man followed by First Love. How- because of shinhwa, my interest in KPOP build up over the years.
It have almost been 3 years.
The bunch of guys who made me laugh/cry.
An emotional attachment i have with them.
Hyesung's weird hairstyles. The kendo one, crew cut etc. His voice. Hyesung had matured alot throughout this three years. Hyesung unnie, now i have to address you as Hyesung oppa!
MY husband-minwoo oppa. Back then when i first read chenya's fanfic. I was interested in your character but i had mistaken you for dongwan. I started to read more fanfics and went to research on Shinhwa. You shoot the bullet not at your enemy- but through my heart. You were the one who kept me living with hope each day till now. Your silverish purple hair in First Love, i will never forget. That scrawny body dancing sexily in "Only One", greenish silver hair in "Wedding march". That guy who had a mop flop hair in Eusha Eusha. That boy who was dancing enthusiastically in Hyegulsah. The one who stolen my heart in 2003. Your smile, the smile who can tilt my lips up. The pair of eyes who smiles too. Only one, Lee Minwoo. Your raspy voice in "Just one night"- yes, i was jealous. Jealous. I envied Shin Ae alot for being able to be your girlfriend- that is how much i yearned for you. I believed you had your reasons for choosing ShinAe. Now that it is over, do I-over million of girls still stand a chance? (I doubt so)
Minu/minwoo/minbong/bongie
You are the one.
I love you so much that it feels so surreal now.
SHINHWA CHANGJO
EVERLASTING MYTHOLOGY
-An everlasting addiction
7:53 PM
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
A long time since i last posted. =P
SCHOOL HAVE BEEN DRIVING ME CRAZY =D
but, this friday is shinhwa's ANNIVERSARY
Shinhwa oppa deul, HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY <3
9:16 PM
Saturday, March 18, 2006
I am suffering from a fucking hard migrane.
Just woke michelle up from her sleep- i am sorry <3
I am in great agony that my tears are flowing nonstop, signing off now.
11:43 PM
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
I just realised, i am never broke. -i do not have any savings either.
I could lay my hands on whatever posters/ dongbang/shinhwa stuffs
thanks to my parents.
Today, i woke up at freakning 7 alright! Went on the computer and started arranging my files/de-lagging it and burning of videos.
Now my videos are only left with i think 57gb?
Previously was at least 10gb more, mind you!
Then i went to school for the entrepreneurship club thing, ya-da ya-da. Did our group the report, we were damn eleborative. LOL.
Then went to Paya lebar after that to make my spectacles; went This Fashion- they wanted to try on clothes; finally i hit the gym.
I feel like plopping down on my bed now; snore and sleep.
That is how tired i am. (:
I watched a video titled: Welcome to Dongbanggol!
*hint*
I am very tired.
Going to sleep le.
bleagh.
Bye! (:
-meeting junsu later
9:40 PM
I am now sneezing and coughing my life out of me.
Damn sick.
Later, i am going to make my spectacles =D
Sian. I got 60 gb of videos, boasting of 300+.
BUT, they are named messily =O=;;
I GOT THE SHINHWA COKE CAN!
yaya! i just saw the thailand LG AD! like wtf.
ITS DAMN NICE CAN!
though i saw yunho many times but i figured that i would not mind all the sg-reans falling in love with yunho! LEAVE JUNSU TO ME!
xD
7:40 AM
Sunday, March 12, 2006
jjaksarang ; ` vrrrr.- says:
tag nicer!
jjaksarang ; ` vrrrr.- says:
eh
-©SurReaLiTy €eZIeR Ying ♡ ; ! People changes but memories never. says:
who?
jjaksarang ; ` vrrrr.- says:
i mean update nicer post!
so i am back again. =P
EATING DUCK NOODLES LATER =P
yummy! -someone is jealous-
keke.
i seriously still thinks i am putting on weight.
aish.
yesterday after reaching home at 4.30, i slept all the way till 10.30 to 11 pm.
Stayed up all the way till this morning 6.30 a.m..
I like how staying up at night can makes you feel relaxing, tranquil and peaceful.
Something which i have not felt for a long time.
Study. Downloading. Sleeping. Eating= my daily lifestyle.
Michelle Cynthia Aw WeiLing
-shes a funny girl. DAMN sociable can?
Er, loves brian? (Loves HIM more than me)
=(
Treat my arm as a roast duck leg.
well, seeing her reminds me of not yet roasted pig.
thats all.
*treat this as my testimonial for you*
ain't i great? (;
12:45 PM
I wonder...
if i passed away tomorrow,
how many of those who knows me will cry for me.
if i passed away tomorrow,
how many of those who knows me might not even knows about it?
if i passed away tomorrow,
how many will pine for me?
if i passed away tomorrow,
how many, how much, who?
I have a crush on Junsu. =P
An infatuation, i think.
Playing now is lee sooyoung's Grace
12:32 PM
No mood to blog. (:
Junsu loves me.
that's for sure! (:
3:08 AM
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
my caps key ain't working.
(:
junsu & minwoo
i am for you.
across the azure blue sky
my cupid arrow fly
further away from me;
closer to him
to that one guy who can
make my heart skip a beat
make me smile widely
make me cry endlessly
from me who is always
waiting for this unrequited love
waiting for his ever signals
waiting for him to return my love
love is path between me and him.
junsu x)
5:52 PM
Monday, March 06, 2006
It is the leftover scars and half healed wounds from the betrayal.
Trust takes time to build up.
I believe in a leopard never change it's spots unless, you are a changed person already.
The feeling that i had once felt ever so deeply and truly still comes out once in a while.
I am actually trying to erase this feeling.
Believe me, it is that hard.
It takes a century for people to bond.
A lie which is only thought up of within minutues can break the bond, ever.
All the time, i know we are just using each other. So why not, stop it now.
Some people changes, but some didn't at all.
It is their attitude towards you which changes.
Ain't that so?
Think. Put yourself in the other party's shoes before making assumption.
I am just a plain jane trying to figure out what is going through my head these past few days.
What have been going in between us.
And, i am kind of sick of it.
Sometimes, i think, why not just pull away from it.
It ain't that easy.
Philosophy, what am i saying ain't all that.
All i am asking of you is to think and put yourself in other people's shoes.
Have the courage to ask and not making assumption behind people's back.
To think if my bestfriend did that, i would have already slapped her.
Tears just flow endlessly
Streaming down my face
Heart thumps wearily
A frown and no smiles
-This is the me facing you
People changes but memories never.
-This thought is keeping me alive
5:25 PM
Sunday, March 05, 2006
I would get so depressed whenever i thought of my weight two years ago.
My weight ballooned up due to sheer laziness.
2:03 PM
I want to vent out my frustrations.
12:48 PM
